An Unhappy Post

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Today I have an appointment to get my eyes checked. A well overdue appointment. I think it's been at least 4 yrs since I've had my eyes checked so I'm pretty sure I'll be getting some new glasses and this time I'll try to actually wear them.
I have to vent a bit....This morning my husband had me drive him to work (we only have one car and my husband has a motorcycle and it was raining today-he does not ride in the rain). I was kind of wondering why he made me drive him. We start talking and I realize he THINKS my eye appt is on base which it's NOT. I told him a bunch of times where it was and even told him I drove by. I've been talking about how close the place was to where we live for a week. So, I was really irritated b/c the only reason I was driving him to work in the rain was b/c he thought my appointment was on base (where he works...). Okay, so the real reason I'm so irritated is because he always does stuff like this to me and then blames it on having too much on his mind when really it's that he never listens when I am talking to him. I feel like when I'm talking that he has absolutely no interest in what I'm saying and just dismisses everything like it doesn't matter. There is so much lately...or for a while, that really bothers me and talking to him about it obviously does nothing. The last two times I was sick, he refused to help me with simple tasks for our son (normally, I do everything...he does help change diapers sometimes but that's only after me complaining for the whole first year of my son's life and threatening to leave). For example, I asked him to get Lukas a sippy cup (on the day I was puking and couldn't eat a thing) and he said, "You're not dying." I could go on and on about lots of things but I'll try not to. Basically, I am just not too happy but you can't make a person change.

Let her go

Monday, January 26, 2009

Why can't you let her go
You keep pushing and pushing
When is it time to move on
Can't you just get past it

We know it makes you feel low
She can forgive everything
Doesn't mean her memory is gone
But we can all get on with it

If you just let her go
Stop pushing and pushing
What's done is done
Where she is, is fit

Please, just let her go
It's herself she's finding
It's not about having fun
So stop, just stop it

Dr's Appointments

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I had a dr's appointment Thursday and Lukas had his 2 yr check up on Friday. I've been having some ear issues and they've been causing me to have some vertigo so my dr is referring me to an E.N.T. specialist. I haven't been to an E.N.T. since just after the middle ear surgery I had when I was 10 yrs old. Apparantly I've got some scarring on my eardrum from the surgery and both my eardrums have holes in them...maybe from tubes I had in and out of my ears as a child. My dr said the E.N.T. may want to go in and repair my eardrum (I really hope NOT b/c I do not even want to think about me having surgery!) I've got an appt to see the E.N.T. dr in February. The dr also suggested I seek counseling for another issue so I'll be trying to get an appointment for that next week. I've also got to go get my eyes checked b/c I haven't done that in about 4 yrs and I never wear my broken glasses. They were mostly for astigmatism but my eyes have probably changed in 4 yrs so I expect to be getting a new prescription and a new pair of glasses that I will probably actually have to wear. So, I'm going to be pretty busy with taking care of myself.
I might be falling apart, haha, but Lukas is doing great! I take much better care of him than I do myself. He's in the 90 percentile for height and the 25 percentile for weight, which is better than the 10 percentile he was in for his 18 mth appointment. He's doing really well with talking and everything else too. I'm very proud of him and so, so glad that he has not inherited my horrible ear problems so far.
Meanwhile, we've been passing around a 24 hour bug. Lukas had it Thursday, I had it Friday, and then Clifton got it yesterday. It wasn't fun but I think it is all over with now. Hopefully, we'll be able to enjoy next weekend and none of us will be sicky icky!

Inauguration and No Naps

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I was able to watch a good bit of the inauguration today even with Lukas not taking a nap. I think it is so great to be able to see this moment in history. I did not vote this man into office but I have a great respect for any president of this country and I am looking forward to seeing some of the changes he is planning on making. I may not agree with him on everything but he's got a tough job ahead of him and I would not want to be in his shoes any day.
I was also glad to be able to watch the inauguration on tv, comfortable and WARM, at home. Those people must have been so cold! How great was it that this day comes the day after MLK Day?
Well, this is going to be a short one because my no-napping 2 yr old wants to climb all over me. Lukas has still been pretty difficult when it comes to bedtime and naptime. Most days there ends up being no naptime and I'm really feeling like I need a break!